rough draft, still continuing.

Before you start reading. Find a place where your alone & keep this to yourself, because it will be the best for the both of us. it’s just between me & you. Even thou it’s long, bare with it because it’s good to know the truth by the one who sacrifice a whole lot, to get to this point where they have to do something about the past to move on to the future,happier.

Dear Jervie,
In this matter, I’m writing you this letter for my own sake (nobody telling me to do this) So, please take this as a sincere matter. I honestly want to tell you this in person but, since it’s difficult for me to do, i’ll write it instead. I’m hoping you will write back due to questions to be answered. I’ll ask you the questions later. So, it been since 8th grade until now, i still think of you. Somehow, you know things pop up that reminds you a certain someone and all that. Basically, you are like everywhere in my mind, in places, in terms of people that reminds me of you also. It’s scary yet, depressing too but, to clear it up this is the First Step on moving on.I wanted to tell you the moment you asked me out, or got hooked up, I remember clearly, this is like a shock for me,”Oh wow, I am going to be in a relationship,” But, at that time i was always going for those “attractive” guys. But, to me your not that bad looking at all (it took me honestly awhile to agree with that term). your pretty fit because your a b-boy. Before, you were like a skater type of guy and I used to not like those type of guys.When we were going out, we were holding hands people told us to do some couple-like stuff. Even when people were congratulating us & even say we do look like a couple too. That was a good compliment i’d keep to myself. I believe, as days goes by i’ve been thinking over head, like about my family & educational manners. Oh and i didn’t like how i look too, i feel like the way i look now is way much better. (my sisters know about it, not my parents but that afterwards, like a year later. ) I feel like we were too young or like i just began to have a normal lifestyle. even if you don’t remember, i remember the day we hugged after you walked me to my history class, when i was in history i was thinking of you and not paying attention in class. i realize now but not before it is natural because that how girls sense they are “in love”. Honestly, on the july fourth of 2006 that time where renee used to like you and i did at the same time. When that day she fussed over me and i was suffering so much. When i grabbed your hands and asked for another chance, you said no because you wanted to have,”Freedom”, it’s simple. I told you we can still be friends. As those days goes by i was drinking and i shoplifted too. I bet your thinking oh man she really a bad person after to all. When i found out you knew, i was telling myself I will never get that chance to be with him again.Then, i suffered more because i was in a term called, “Rejection”. It’s like a pill that takes time to let it go. It took me years to get over you, i got jealous a lot because I just went on a crazy roller coaster thinking,”Damn, she likes him. What the heck!” she as in Jonana. Yes her, i guess because I thought she liked you. and i was always telling myself while she was still single, i believe she has a boyfriend now, that she was the one that was able to make you happy and be the next girlfriend of yours. Well i thought a few more girls liked you but let me not mention their names. Honestly, If i gotten used to you in a friendship matter for a few years I think i would of become a better girlfriend then you think of. When i started to heal myself, i thought of way to study how couples become couples, and live a happy life even though there maybe troubles. I started to care about other people relationships more wisely and help them out. I was a bit in a love helper position. People adored how i thought of romantic ideas. Many friends that i’ve made were so into how in my perspective a real love is all about. Many friends were thinking that oh the next boyfriend will be lucky to have you, and i was like oh don’t think that, find a reason to hide the truth of everything going on inside me. But, anyways i don’t think you care about those stuff. But, in my honest statement that was the only was i can be a strong girl with a fragile heart. i wanted to see happiness in everyone. Even you, I want you to be a happy person. Here comes where i get stressed out a lot, when people ask me if i even been in love, or have/had a boyfriend, they make me go “ugh, i have to talk about this” i get stressed out. this girl name kimmy remember, she added you on myspace and talked to you on the phone and all, she was like forcing me to talk to you or something, I'm not friends with her anymore because she annoys the crap out of my past life. Anyways, I think the song “say goodbye” by chris brown did suit us a little bit except that you went with some other girl. “there’s never a right time, right time say goodbye...” We never really told each other off that it’s over, it’s done. we just silently set off to different paths in life. Especially, when i moved. I’m more of a stronger person because i don’t see you in my everyday life. If i did, i had to bare with it. Like remember we had P.E. together for the first semester in freshman year, I was like damn what am I going to do. But, ah the last conversation we really had was hard to remember, we didn’t verbally talked but chatted about how i can’t do push ups -__-; oh boy! you were like ha ha or something, and then i said shut up! and you did really shut up for a long time. I was trying too hard on myself. Ugh, REMEMBER (dude i remember a lot of things) we were math buddies, and you passed that class really good and I really didn’t really passed it, and you still asked for my homework. You need to do well in school, or future jobs, even b-boying too. Just don’t hurt yourself okay. I hope you have a good future, even though i feel like the world ending soon enough that we can’t do what we really want. But doing this is what i really wanted to do. As an accomplished thing, you need to reply back. Especially, answering these questions:
Write me anything, Ask me questions,write me about yourself that i don’t know. since i don’t see you at all anymore. Tell me what’s new with you.
-Did you honestly ever love/liked me? which one and why?
-When we were going out for a few days, how did you feel at that moment?
-After i called you for a rejection, how did you feel?
-What was important between us in our friendship?
-Have I ever crossed your mind, anytime?
-When you rejected me, how did you feel?
-Why did you reject me? (even though you answered this, please say it again)
-How come we never kept in touch?
-Why & When we didn’t even speak to each other at all?
-Have you fallen for someone else after me?
-What did you like about me?
-What did you hate about me?
-Could we refresh our friendship?
-Can I get to know you better?
-Can we keep in touch privately until were comfortable with each other at first?
-Was there any changes in you personality/physically/personally because of me?

Happy Birthday Jervie

Hey Jervie
happy 17th bday.
i hope your wishes come true and taht you willl have a lovely day.
hopefully
ur wish isn't a girlfriend, cuz like that hella stupid. lol.
man if i was hella close to u or still ur gf
probably i'll get u a shirt, wristband, ehh even matching vans? LOL idk why i think highly of u still but seriously i think you need to shut the fuck up already ahha.
loll jervie ur too popular for me now. seriously
i hate "populairty" i think u knew that already.
ur bboying is jsut ughh u can die
u have silicosis! okay
if u die, i'm sitll gong to ur funeral
ahhah lol
so i hope u live a good life jervie.
that my present for u.
:) i'm glad u still have friends to support u.
but i'm taking a break, abig break. seriously ur waste of my time. bye bye

i found out about something

THAT PICTURE, IS FROM WEB DESIGN, HECKA COOL. HE TOOK A PIC OF ME. AND THEN LIKE LET ME USE IT FOR THE THING I HAD TO WORK ON :) AHHAA.
ANYWAYS,
OH omg gosh
BILLY IS SINGLE.
yeah. huh. so crazy.
but now like i feel good.
ahaha! idk, i dont' like him i know that since the beginning so yeah.
anyways, i to aknowledge you that he broke up with her.
but he didn't wanna talk about it, but i sense it already.
the girl he dated,
DIDN'T HAVE A CELL PHONE.
hecka of gay huh. lol. ah. so
in that fact,
i think me and billy were always cool no matter what. ah. i think that hm, he hella cool, idk, were like VERY COMFFFYY
with each other. ahhaha.
sound too sensual ahahhaa.
anyways, i don't even make sense at all.
bill is one cool guy.
omggggg. why am i making this a big deal
when i knoww
I DON'T FRIGGIN LIKE HIM LIKE THAT.
so yeah. i believe i believe that.
ya knkow. life is a hella cool thingy

Today was 80's day.

OMG. i haven't blogged in so long! But, i would love to blog about today.
Today was fantastic, i was in my 80's outfit. and there was majority of em' that dressed up, and joined in the rallies, and yelling the voices off, and dancing into 80's music. It was fantastic to know that we were so into it. like EVERYONE. ah, when i enter to class rooms i danced, or like work out ah. it was so cool :) ah.
i was a happy mood
seriously, i'll miss this day.
:(

Seriously, i hate where your at right now.

Man, i've always thought, "you and her could be together" ever since freshman year.
but when i found out she had a boyfriend. it's twisted things up.
But seriously, i think, you liked her somehow.
i could sense it.
but, whenever i look through pics of u guys,
i just wanted to kill her.
kill her to death.
She ruined my future, i guess, she just a fear to me, she just an obstacle i can't get through somehow.
even thou i think she makes you happy somehow.
you guys are hell of close as i notice already.
She probably hell of prettier then me,
But to me, is he hell of innocent thou,
i bet you love the word
"respect" so much.
but seriously,
when i go to your myspace
"having a rough week"
something going on huh?
never knew you say anything "bad" going on your life in the public.
seriously, are you going to go something about your rough week.
gosh you make me mad
and your birthday coming soon
i never gave you anything because someone lost it!
:( seriously.
i'd give you my whole life.
but right now
i don't yknow who you really are now
i don't know waht defines you anymore.
maybe later on.
goodbye for now.

5 bad things about me, and 5 good things about me

17:35] minaluvyou: i wanna know what the 5 things that ppl like about me
and 5 things they don't
[17:35] minaluvyou: so then, i can improve on it, and get better at what i'm good at
[17:38] Tiffy: lol you wanna know ?
[17:38] minaluvyou: yeah
[17:38] minaluvyou: be honest
[17:38] minaluvyou: with me
[17:38] minaluvyou: i feel like i need to know recently
[17:39] minaluvyou: throught out my years
[17:39] Tiffy: okay let's go with 5 things don't
[17:39] minaluvyou: okay
[17:39] Tiffy: you need to stop like..laughing or yelling so loud
[17:39] Tiffy: cause it scares people
[17:39] Tiffy: and they look at you
[17:40] minaluvyou: okay
[17:40] Tiffy: like.. don't scare the new friends you make. like remember how you wrote poems about alex and stuff
[17:40] Tiffy: and told me to show him
[17:41] Tiffy: it was better that i didn't
[17:41] Tiffy: cause he's scared
[17:41] minaluvyou: yeahh
[17:41] minaluvyou: i understand..
[17:41] Tiffy: it's just like a relationship you can't rush
[17:41] minaluvyou: true
[17:41] minaluvyou: wahts next
[17:42] Tiffy: let's see..
[17:42] Tiffy: let me ask fiona
[17:42] Tiffy: lmao
[17:43] Tiffy: Oh fiona said when you hit someone
[17:43] Tiffy: it actually does hurt
[17:43] minaluvyou: oh okay
[17:43] minaluvyou: tell her thanks
[17:43] minaluvyou: for letting me know
[17:43] Tiffy: yeah she said your biggest problem is that you're loud
[17:44] minaluvyou: okay
[17:44] minaluvyou: so
[17:44] minaluvyou: basically mainly
[17:44] minaluvyou: is my loudness
[17:44] Tiffy: yeah it kinda scares the guys
[17:44] Tiffy: lol
[17:44] minaluvyou: lol
[17:44] minaluvyou: hmm
[17:44] minaluvyou: yeah
[17:44] minaluvyou: but i'm quite when i'm alone
[17:44] minaluvyou:
[17:44] minaluvyou: so
[17:44] minaluvyou: give me 5 good things
[17:44] minaluvyou: like the main ones
[17:44] minaluvyou:
[17:45] Tiffy: loll you're good to talk to about problems
[17:45] Tiffy: like you actually listen
[17:45] minaluvyou: okay
[17:46] Tiffy: and you're funny too like stuff you do sometimes
[17:46] minaluvyou: lol
[17:46] minaluvyou: like waht
[17:46] minaluvyou: i never thought i was afunny person
[17:46] minaluvyou: i think it just happens, natually
[17:47] Tiffy: oh sometimes the way you act ish funny to the girls
[17:47] Tiffy: but the guys get uncomfortable
[17:48] minaluvyou: ohh
[17:48] minaluvyou: like how do i act
[17:48] Tiffy: HAHA you're dramatic
[17:48] Tiffy: that's what fiona said
[17:49] Tiffy: kevin said you're good to talk too
[17:49] Tiffy: eStOyaDORKabLe (5:46:09 PM): well, nice, always happy, generous, giving
[17:50] minaluvyou: wow okay
[17:51] minaluvyou: lol
[17:51] minaluvyou: ask kevin how am i good to talk to
[17:51] minaluvyou: dramatic? ahahah >_< lol7:51] Tiffy: when like we're bored? i guess
[17:51] Tiffy: wait he's typing
[17:51] Tiffy: sup3r k3vin (5:48:51 PM): she's a good listener

5 bad things about me, and 5 good things about me

YOOOO :)

Thank god it's
FRIDAY :)
woot, i wanna relax.
ah.
i want to go
YOOOOO! :) CLASS ENDING SO SOON.
aha.
hm; today is WING'S BDAY :) ah.
i gave her this sour candy and a letter. hella cool
hm.
Oh this guy name chris, um he was hanging out with me alyssa and kathleen.
so. yeah.
me and chris talk alot actually, cuz were juniors the girls were sophomores.
so anyways me and him talk about majelete and kimmy and he think the same as me :) woot! i'm so happy that i have someone to talk to about them ah.
yah, chris was majalete's EX. so yeah.
hm. but you know, he thinks she hella changed, like she conceded andmaking plans for herself and "Popularity" and alll wahtever shit. ahahaha.
:) that made me happy for some reasons.
:) i'm so happy
:) and kimmy has taht bitch face, it's like her normal face bitch since birth. ahahhaha
:) gotta go.
<3 ya

I don't like reading period :(

So, YEAH we been having a subsitute and like my teacher is sick. So basically it's pretty chlll.
HMM.
now that dance practice for skit if building up my days, i feel like i have something to do, something to think about, memorize, and have so much fun with. like last year. and i got to meet new ppl. maybe all over again :) i'm so happy that i'm able to do this agian, i wanna have all my 4 years to be in it. no matter where i go, i'll still attend. I want to not be envious watching it, i wanna be a part of something, something that you perform once a year. a diffrent concept by like, facing your fears all over again, but it's okay.

In the beginning my life was stressing when school started, i had A LOT OF HOMEWORK. now i have a few, i get the concept on doing this and that on the right timing. i feel good. i feel like an okay person

the only fear i have right now,
failing. failing badly!
:(

i seriously believe that i can't take notice on what to expect from the unexpected.

i miss seeing people i knew since 8th grade, i'm used to them, i'm used to talking and having fun with them. basically, lately it been a while since had normal conversations with them because i'm so busy with school life, and got addicted to dramas and all that.

I cry a lot.
i mean, everyday.
because i'm
e m o t i o n a l.

in comp operations.

i'm in so in PAIN omgggg i'm going to die.
>_< my face is hella messed up and the mosquito bites damnn....
it's hell!
gawhh

just because.. your there only one nemo in the ocean

you know what i hate the most, like I REALLY HATE THE MOST... that we can't change time, we can't sneak into the future, we can't get what we always wanted, because just maybe the person that you put your whole life and soul can't grant ur bday wishes for a couple years, 15, 16... nothing has changed in me, but in him, he has changed... he much happier with his friends then his family, he much into bboying then searching for girls, he more of a happy person that made a BREAK THROUGH his own weakness, his "friends* put a band-aid in his heart. it's always the right for him to have his decisions in life, his own what called, "freedom" but somehow, we just need to face each other someday, somewhere, just to clear things out, but that seems impossible... the ocean is so big that it hard to find it, the right time, the right place, the moment to cherish this lifetime, cause it's only one time. Like, there are other fishes in the sea but, there only one Nemo you are looking for.
CAN I GET THROUGH YOU SOMEHOW?
how come i can see your smiles through other people faces, instead of mine. or maybe you did, but, i can't catch you. i just dream that you did. how come that i can't deny that you totally let me go, and never come back to me? how come i feel so scared and nervous when you pass by me? how come i feel like a s t r a n g e r to you? are you out of your mind? do you realize, HOW GIRLS GET SO HURT THEY CAN EVEN DIE? they want to die because, they though there whole life, was to be with you, to be a reason for living. So, what if i can't go to another, i can't accept them, i can't say yes? because it was hard for me to accept you before, it was so hard, because i didn't know myself back then, now i do, because you broke me apart, and find the right pieces, but there only one piece that is missing, and that goes directly from your heart, that what i need. I need you to tell me, EVERYTHING of what you though of me, what you thought i was i believe, who you think i am now, what good changes i am, what bad changes i am, what you wanted to talk to me about, how do you feel when we broke up, how did you feel when we held hands, how did you feel when i moved, how do you feel when i pass by you somehow, how do wish i was. but i really want to ask you, "How can you fix me? what can you do? what is your most professional way of saving someone from dying? how can you make me live longer? how can you make me a happier person then i am now?" because each day, i'll be thinking of what you said to me, think about it so deeply, and meaningfully, and you'll see, how thankful to have you answer those questions for me, because you could be my l i f e s a v e r.

My dream last night, i wished i could sleep forever more.

My dream last night, felt so real, felt so much love through the scene. i can't believe it, it was something i was looking forward to have in so long. Finally, it happened.

So, my dream start out as me taking a train to the mall, with friend (idk who the friend is)
So, then like, i was roaming around the mall with the friend, and JERVIE appeared. he was in the bathroom with friends, but like, there this part when they were talking about, it dosen't matter about me talking to carmina right, they make a big deal out of her, i'm not afraid of talking to her, something like that. so then, when me and him met up it was like, wow. crazy. we were hanging, talking... then the scene JUMP INTO, a park. we were like, couple-like it was cute, first of all , i was like looking at him, pinching his cheeks, then like, we started to like hold each other hands, and sorts, and then were like walking around with our hands holding on, then we did this thing jumping over a stand to the slide, he brought happiness to me, it was the best feeling ever. So then yeah... then the scene jump again, to this house... it was scary >_< like, some bad guy was coming, and there was a lot of ppl in the house i think we were partying, and like we were like locking doors and blinds. and like we all hid in the living room (what a strange/ non-safe place to hide) me and jervie actually kissed >_< because i think we were so scared we might die, he took away my virgin lips, >_this dream makes me feel alive, make me want to function throughout the day, just dreaming...
but, sometimes i want it to be..
REAL >_<
i want it to happen somehow.
maybe, it telling me to
just wait a bit more,
not get hopes high,
just wait,
wait a bit more.

just thinking..

faggot, i miss you terribly.
why can't you see through me,
living my life in misery,
i feel like i have nothing to live for,
nothing to reach up in the sky,
because you know that i can only be the one,
to be able to trust you all night long,
forever you are gone,
you don't want me to think of you,
like i always been doing too,
for many years,
i've wasted it all,
because of you,
i was saving it for the best,
i wanted you get the best of me,
the one that can prove that love is no other girl,
only me just me,
being by my side,
holding my hand
taking us through memory lane,
with no complaints,
or turning back,
i'll still be,
w a i t i n g.

quotes, pics. >_<

i miss your hands, there so warm, i like how you lend it to me like a prince, i miss you. your hand, the one that bring so much memories, i love it, it's so delightful, it's not like any other hands, i've touch. this is another reason why i can't love another, because your hand prints are stuck inside my hands, nobody else can replace it, nobody. only for you, meant to be. i lay my hands on yours.

i hate the way you think of me >:(

the song, on my previous blog. changed the way i thought of him, i never knew he was that serious. that his love life shook his world once more. lets go line by line, or what so.

Rocked silent in a soft lullaby
panic stirred me awakened by a ringing phone in time( WOW! you serious, your still shock after that chance you DIDN'T take from me, have you realize what would have been? seriously, i can't believe after all the years, you feel it now. see it's your fault, and that am i the one suppose to be hurt not you? SEE!)
where and when would I see her?(have you ever intend of seeing me in the first place, i could roam around the place, you just need to catch me, I'm waiting, I'm not thousands of miles away from you, you'll find me someday. if you wished)
Crazy were the words that scribbled out your mouth(PSH, you may think I'm crazy, but your fault! seriously, if i was with you still, you wouldn't though of that, i would of been the most beautiful in your eyes babe >_<)
I stuttered replacing your face to those words(WTH! oh sure, say whatever, believe what people say, but guess what, the truth is what spoken in my mouth, and i will say it right in front of you, i could cry, scream, yell, stomp my feet, that how i feel and sure, I'm surely used to it already)
where and when would I kill her?(WTH,kill me see what happens, your going to jail because your so SHOCK, that your own ex is strong enough to live on, and your stuck with your misery, cheer up emo kid)
I'll wish on this, I'll wish with this(HOPELESS WISHES, DAMN)
I, I'll wish... to the bitter end of my day
Well, where were you?(I'M HERE LIVING, DUH! i could be a phone call away but you don't have number)

[Chorus:]
So you had your turn and you made it work
now I'm the laughing stock of your joke(so what the point, what did i make that work, i never accomplished anything from you, i never made a goal when i as with you)
as crazy as it may seem I cried for you when you
told me to date all of the things that made you end up in my life(YOU ACTUALLY CRY! you never show any sadness to the public world, why can you be inside out, show yourself, express, hate me or love me cause i couldn't care less!)
and I'll believe anything I have no luck with girls(AHA! I BELIEVE IN THIS! seriously, i don't think any other girl would be just like me for you, seriously, i think if you try harder, HARDER, she could be right in front of your face right now, anywhere any time, you just got to do something about)
I overheard that you were unhappy too(OH BOY! of course, what about you, ur so sad too, believe me, if you could of work things out with me, we would be happy equally.)
misleading toss into a relationship that makes no sense(so what, have u ever tried, TRIED)
over and out Connecticut
but you had your back turned there as you faded away( because, i was hurt, and i didn't want u to se me hurt at all, because when i wanna come back to let you see me again, i wanna be a happy person)
to the end of my day I found out
you weren't worth what I thought of you
what I thought of you(I WASN'T worth it, psh because you didn't try hard enough, i thought u wouldn't regret it, i thought you hella accept me, but i guess not)

write this down in your diary you abuse
can we make plans can I just get through to you(FIND ME SERIOUSLY)
is this weird...do I scare her?(I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU, COME UP TO ME FOOL)
I'll wish on this, I'll wish with this
I, I'll wish... that you could share the love you'd shared with others, with me(OH BOY, I WAS GOING TO, LIKE YEARS AGO, LIKE NO PROBLEM, I DO SHARE MY LOVE AS FRIENDS,AND WITH YOU. SURE. COME TO ME)

[Chorus]

This isn't love so forever let it go...forever let it burn(LOVE is when we were together, PSH, u think right now is now, we don't ben talk anymore, it been years )
This isn't love there on the backend of forever
I wish I would never hurt again (YOU WISH! wow, i just hurt myself, u didn't do anything, well only one major thing that changed my life forever, rejection, but I'm over that are you?)

Whats the meaning?! i'm desperate!

The Velourium Camper II: Backend of Forever Lyrics
Artist(Band):Coheed And Cambria

Rocked silent in a soft lullaby
panic stirred me awakened by a ringing phone in time
where and when would I see her?
Crazy were the words that scribbled out your mouth
I stuttered replacing your face to those words
where and when could I kill her?
I'll wish on this, I'll wish with this
I wish...to the bitter end of my day
well.. where were you?

So you had your turn and you made it work
now I'm the laughing stock of your joke
as crazy as it may seem I cried for you when you
told me to date all of the things that made you end up in my life
and I'll believe anything I have no luck with girls

I overheard that you were unhappy too
a misleading toss into a relationship that makes no sense
over and out and Connecticut
but you had your back turned as you faded away
the end of my day I found out
you weren't worth what I thought of you

Write this down in the diary you abuse
can we make plans can I just get through to you
is this weird...do I scare her?
I'll wish on this, I'll wish with this
I wish...that you could share the love you'd shared with others, with me

So you had your turn and you made it work
now I'm the laughing stock of your joke
as crazy as it may seem I cried for you when you
told me to date all of the things that made you end up in my life
and I'll believe anything I have no luck with girls

I overheard that you were unhappy too
a misleading toss into a relationship that makes no sense
over and out Connecticut
but you had your back turned as you faded away
the end of my day I found out
you weren't worth what I thought of you

But this isn't love so forever let it go...forever will it burn
But this isn't love there on the backend of forever I wish I would never hurt again


UGGGHHH; EXPLAIN IT.
>_< dammitt! i have a feeling it's me. ALWAYS BEEEN.
>_< fudgeee!

i am trying my hardest.

I am so blessed I'm living in the life better then it was before. "Change is what we believe in" I swear, i need to stop thinking about him, but guess what, what happens next? >_< I'm trying to go strong without you, and it ends up that your still in my face but in reality your not there, in front of me, with your gazed dark sparks eyes straight straight at mines, with that connection, in a blink away your not there, all of the sudden you disappear, and blink again, your there, can i stay forever in your eyes only, just me, only me please. i may be desperate, but i think our "love" could be the real thing, that your meant to be mine, i don't know, there no FORCE in love, so i think you should find a girl soon, find someone already, FIND THE ONE, for you, that will treat you right, PLEASE! I'm suffering! knowing that your still single, are u waiting, because your a MAN, you need to find someone, where GIRLS OUT THERE ARE WAITING FOR THERE MEANT TO BE, THERE TRUE LOVE! please, please, please, find someone now. I'm sacrificing everything for you, i want you to tell me the answer," DO YOU THINK THERE ANYONE ELSE, ANYWHERE NEAR YOU, ANYONE THAT THINK OF YOU EVERY SINGLE, SECOND, MINUTE, HOUR, DAY, MONTH, YEAR? tell me, TELL ME! with your voice, is the only way i can know the truth, IS YOU, IS YOUR VOICE, TELL ME EVERYTHING, WHAT YOU WANT, BECAUSE I WANT TO BE THE ONLY GIRL IN YOUR LIFE, THAT HELD YOUR HANDS, AND HOLD ONTO IT FOREVER, FOREVER IS A STRONG WORD AND FEELING BECAUSE I REMAIN HAVING YOU FOREVER IN ME, BUT CAN I BE IN YOURS TOO PLEASE? CAN I HAVE THE CHANCE TO DO THE THINGS I WANTED TO DO WITH YOU YEARS AGO, I WANT IT TO BE MEMORABLE, I WANT US TO TREASURE IT FOREVER, THAT I WANT YOU TO KNOW WHO I AM, THE REAL ME, THE PERSON I AM THAT REFLECTS ON YOU, YOUR THE ONE THAT CHANGED ME FOR THE BETTER, I CAN BE A BETTER PERSON FOR YOU, I WILL RESPECT YOU. I WILL HONER YOU. I WILL SUPPORT YOU. I WILL CHERISH YOU. I WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE, I WANT TO BE, BECAUSE YOUR THE ONLY ONE, THAT BRINGS MY STRONGEST POINT, THE OTHER BOYS OUT THERE BRING MY WEAKEST POINTS, I WANT SOMEONE WHO I CAN BELIEVE IN, NOT HAVE SECOND THOUGHTS, WHEN YOU LEND YOUR HANDS TO ME, I WISHED THAT I HELD ONTO THAT FOREVER, I WISH I HELD OF THAT SO TIGHT THAT I WLL NEVER EVER THOUGHT OF LETTING YOU GO IN THE FIRST PLACE, I WOULD OF HAD SO MUCH MEMORIES, I WOULD OF BE SO MUCH HAPPIER THEN I AM TODAY, SO MUCH LOVE, SO MUCH JOYFUL MEMORIES, SO MUCH LOVELY KISSES, SO MUCH WARM HUGS, SO MUCH SMILES, SO MUCH THINGS THAT WE DONE, i miss you terribly, i miss you, forever.

sorry blog :( ; but i got something to say.

Sorry blog for not updating whats going around me. i have no time for you, which is so sad. because homework just kills me hella
lol.
so hm, let me tell you about the "best part of the day"
I MET A NEW FRIEND :)
his name is Irvin, as in "irvington" ahahha. lol. that what he said.
SO; he a kinda not too short filipino guy, in my english class.
His voice is loud.
we were talking about america's best dance crew, cuz i aked him where he got his shirt at.
and like he and i high fived becaue we wanted so real crew to win! :)
but guess waht in BOLD AND CAP LETTERS:
I ONLY LIKE HIM AS A FRIEND

AND I NEVER EVER FELT LIKE TAHT WHEN I TALK TO A GUY SERIOUSLY
I WOULD HAVE LITTLE WAYS OF LIKING THERE PERSON
BUT THIS ONE IS NONE
AND HE ISN'T BAD LOOKING AT ALL
AHAHAHH ;)
GOOD FOR MYSELF.
BACK TO U. sike ahahaha.
OKAY so yeah.
i'm looking forward to add him on mysapce
cuz we exchange our url of our myspace :) woot.
ahahha. he was like "I'm going to find you"
ahah.
and like he trying to pronouce my name right but he did said it right for the heck of a time.

i just miss you too much

FAST TYPING XD in webdesign

dude, i forgot to tell you guys stuff since i haven't blog in days.
WEB DESIGN, your actually doing WEB DESIGN. which it's okay.
it actually a "class" not just fooling around doing anything.
as long as u do ur work, and dude i complete the task :) ahahha!

okay, so about billy he is so cool aha.
he uses my phone a lot in 5th period
and he was so cool cuz he put "billy
is hella cool" on my phone. ahhaha :)

ANYWAYS; about today, it's chill. man. homework pile up my life man.
:( oh wellz, gotta leave. class ending soon.

>_< ahahha let me talk about 5th period class.

OMG! lets talk about MY 5TH PERIOD ENGLISH CLASS! ahaha.
So we had to take notes fhor this fly shit i don't even know ahahha.
and like then we did reading shit, liek ppl take turns reading randomly choosen by the teacher, and when he hella called my name i was like ,wtf where are we in my mind ahahah. lol. i said stuff wrong n billy laughed, but talking about billy omggg he a cool rocker white boy! hahahh like, okay so i was texting paige and all, and like he took my phone and texted her ahah he so funny omggg lol and then like ya ahah we been talking since the first day. and there no intention on liking him at all he just a cool ass friend of mine ahahha like dude, trust me he outta da ordinary alright. so yea. were texting like right now ahahha lol. cuz like i asked him for his phone and i called it (our phones are on mute) and i got the number from there ahahah :) ahahha! dude, at least he dosen't mind ya know. he hella idk. ahaha. i'm glad i'm able to talk about a guy i only like a friend, usually i am blank about the person liek 100 percent! ahahah So yeah, ahahha he laughs with me and ya know i think were building a good FRIENDSHIP. ahahahahhaha i make him talk and stuff, dude i never felt so stupid but yet feel so good about it. like i ususally FOCUS IN CLASS, then playing around. aha this is the only class i swear to promise you on! :)
-mina

Haven't wrote a poem in a while

let see, let me think of some things for my poem i really wanna put in it.
- eyes
- realize
- connection
- being strong
- being weak
- one-sided love?
- football stadium
- September 12
- dancing
- sadness inside
- concerns

2 Eyes caught in a moment
by carmina canilao

it was night time,
on september 12,
sitting on the benches,
are eyes caught once again,
felt a little affection,
somehow we connected,
for a few seconds,
at that time,
we definitely have the strength to live on,
even thou inside we can't carry on,
were always living on misery,
we can't even face destiny,
cause we never see,
what inside both of each other needs,
we can't even believe in love,
because we can't go above,
cause we have to face it,
me and you have to take it,
but we have to stay strong,
to be happy no matter what,
but i can't seem to breath,
because all i ever wanted you,
as my relief of make believe,
i need you like a missing part of my heart,
because i only need you,
only only only only you,
do you need me too?

About 9/12/08 so much happened.

Okay. lets start off what happened at school that i can hardly remember,
i know i got homework from geometry XD so gay!
i was missing 3 more states but i think i mistaken a few TOO XD and watched a video XD
read period i was obviously reading of course, the book 24 girls in 7 days, like a guy trying to find a girl to ask out to prom
computer operations, i type so fast as usual :)
chemistry, we continued on the lab, "sexy shades" still looks at me usually at some point. ah!
LUNCH: OMMGGGG! AHAHAH FUN STUFF. OH GOSH, FIRSTLY ME AND ALSSA WENT TO GET OUR BURGER, I GOT HERS WITH MINE CUZ IT WAS CROWDED AND I GOT MINES LIKE FIRST CUZ LIKE HELLA BOYS WERE SURROUNDED BY ME! AHAHA, THEN WE WENT OFF TO ALYSSA'S LOCKER THEN WE WENT OFF TO GO WATCH THIS THING WHERE A TEACHER SITS ON THE THING THAT SOMEONE THROWS A BALL AND IF IT HIT IT THEN THEY FALL INTO THE WATER !!! SO FUNNY! and like, then me and alyssa went ROCK CLIMBING: talking about rock climbing, dude it was sooo hard, and a bit scary too! XD but i made it through! XD but i was in a bit of embarrassment! then we went off to get snow cones :) and all and there so much that happen but it's whatever :)
then it's english, MY FIRST SUBSTITUTE EVER, we watched this video so yeah and took notes on.
web design was fUN OMGGG, i got to play HALO against with the CLASS :) AHA and the teacher too. it was so much fun i can't wait to play it again on monday and through out the other days too :) ahaha GET E'M' ! aha i wanna find out who they are cuz they got nicknames and all that so yea XD I WANNA FIND OUT WHO MARIJUANA IS! ahahah

then i got picked up by mommy with my sister so i got o bring my books with no stress of carrying them because like they took me straight to the mall :) because i was hanging out with tiffany,fiona,cindy,vedy,gavin... and i saw jr and these 2 ppl i forget their names. aha. OH then reena called and like she asked me if i'm still up for the football game :) so, i was yeah sure. aha! so yeah it was pretty much a blast aha. the football game was the shiet because me and reena always go to them, a tradition you know. So, like me and her were dancing when the band were playing their music :) i love it.

Man, there is something i got to mention about. and it's been in my mind the whole figgin' night and day. jervie. yes yes, him! lately i've been talking about joshua and jonathan. now it's back to him. because i "caught" him looking at me. when i was dancing my ass off... ahahha XD lol. but i feel like i could read his mind with my own eyes and his eyes connect to mine somehow... ILLUSION i felt like, my heart reminded me something, that I'm not completely over him, that I'm strong enough to live when he's near me, that i can be a happy person. but, i 'm not completely happy overall because there so much i want to do with him, not that i wanna like go straight up and confess to him, i want to be his friend that can talk to daily basic, even if we are far, we can text each other or something like that. i want him to know that i care about him whole heartily. i wanna know the answer to why he look so sad ? maybe he isn't? i don't know. i want to know why. is it that he surprise to see me all hype up? can he look inside me? have ever did? have he realize something? i want to know. can someone take him to a place where a person he dosent know ask him questions about me and put that thing on the finger in order to tell if he telling the truth or not, and there a mirror facing towards him like those one in the jail where I'm on the other side looking at him.
i want to know. IF HE EVER EVER EVER NEED SOMEONE TO MAKE HIM FEEL LOVE, BE LOVE, IN LOVE? high school going to end soon, building a relationship is kind of important afterwards because your going to heck of old XD ANYWAYS;
thats all i have to say

i feel like writing a poem, maybe tomorrow or whenever my heart feels like it.
- Mina

today like any other

so sad it's sept.11 XD


ahah today is chill.
can't wait till tommrow. 1HR AND 1/2 LUNCH :) YEEEEE!
anyways.
i understand geometry now cuz of my hw last night she didn't even discuess it so we get to do the same hw agian, liek do the ones i didn't know.
LETS MOVE IT TO CHEMISTRY :
Okay there was like a CUSSING FIGHT THINGY between 2 guys, it was scary. okay. like DAMN SCARY. omg, i can't really explain.
OH LUNCH TIME:
it was so funny, me and alyssa hang, and like i was telling her about this guy and like she was hella laughing and all... and like she told me that i should be an investiagtor because i wanted to know if that jonathan guy is going to back with his ex... ahahha and i saw them cuddling i was like WTF THERE TOGETHER... ahahha XD ahahha.
well it's a curse
i keep seeing HIM AND THE OTHER ONE, JOSHUA....
like in the same particular area....
SOMEONE NEEDS TO BREAK IT.
anyways, yeah.
I DON'T THINK I HAVE MUCH HOMEWORK WOOT :)
SO YES, ahha.
thats all for today.

just like everyday

ahah today is chill.
can't wait till tommrow. 1HR AND 1/2 LUNCH :) YEEEEE!
anyways.
i understand geometry now cuz of my hw last night she didn't even discuess it so we get to do the same hw agian, liek do the ones i didn't know.
LETS MOVE IT TO CHEMISTRY :
Okay there was like a CUSSING FIGHT THINGY between 2 guys, it was scary. okay. like DAMN SCARY. omg, i can't really explain.
OH LUNCH TIME:
it was so funny, me and alyssa hang, and like i was telling her about this guy and like she was hella laughing and all... and like she told me that i should be an investiagtor because i wanted to know if that jonathan guy is going to back with his ex... ahahha and i saw them cuddling i was like WTF THERE TOGETHER... ahahha XD ahahha.
well it's a curse
i keep seeing HIM AND THE OTHER ONE, JOSHUA....
like in the same particular area....
SOMEONE NEEDS TO BREAK IT.
anyways, yeah.
I DON'T THINK I HAVE MUCH HOMEWORK WOOT :)
SO YES, ahha.
thats all for today.

me and my friend rated xxx conversation :) so hilarious

moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
DON"T LAUGH!!!
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
OKAYAAY
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
lol but i can't help it
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
XDD that girl next to u knwo is like hella clueless
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
shit
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ah
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
YOU ARE CRAZY!!
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
WHATEER
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i was born to be crazy
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
cuz it's genetic
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
so i can't do anythign about it
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
YA RIGHT!!
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahaha
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
lol
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ADAM
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ADAM
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ADAM
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ADAM
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
HAHA HE DIED! ;D
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:

i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahah LOL
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahhaah
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
killed by EVE
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahaha
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
XD
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
cuz Eve don't want that much kids
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
they doing too much
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahahahahhah
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
lol
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ommgggg
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
XD
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i'm cryingggg
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
haha..go ahead, adam won
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
wont' come back alive anywayz
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahah LOL ahahah
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i'll choke if he says adam agian
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
ADAm!!
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
so prepare to dial 911
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
oh ya sure, i have my cell phone beside me
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahha lol
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
Adam have been doing too much with Eve and have too many kids so he's out of armor ! hahahahah
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
AHAHHA LOL
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
HE DOING TOO MUCHHHHH THAT HE IN PAINNNNNNNN BIG ITME
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ALL HE THINKS ABOUT
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
SEX IS WAHT BROUGHT ME AND EVE TOGETHER
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
SEXXXXYY TIMEE 24/7
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
that's all he thinks of?! sex, sex, and sex all day
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
taht's y he died now
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahaha yah for realz
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
maybe he cheats on eve
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
to have more kids ever
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
MAX THE PLEASURE
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
XD
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
do u know, havign sex is like a loud squeaking door
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
u know it sound like u are waiting to have "sex" with someone lol
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
hahahah
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
xD
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
OMGGG
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
I'M A VIRGIN
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
XD
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
U KNOW HWO DESPERTE I AM ahah
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
joke, i'm paitent
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i need a boyfriend
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
then get married
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
then IT
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
XD
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
ok...find one then..
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
and get marry
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
and do it everyday
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahahahahahahhaahhahaha
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
24/7
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
omgggggg
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ur overboard
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i want my soulmate to be liek my ex from 8th grade shit. ahah but then i thin khe going to be dumbshit omgg idk XD ahahhaha
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
from 8th grade?? o0
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
u like young ones?
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
OHHH
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
no i was in 8th grade
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
whe ni had a boyfriend
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
taht was an 8th grader too
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
we didn't go out that long cuz i was so stupid before and broke up with him
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i hsould of waited until HS
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
but fuck u knwo.
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahaha
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
XD
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
now is high school lol
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
But me and him don't talk anymore
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
so go find one!
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
liek hellaa years
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
I'M TRYING
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
SO HARD
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
NO MORE CUTE GUYS IN ARE GRADE
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i've been crushing on younger ones liek sohpomores XD
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
OMG!! u can't do taht!! they still young!!
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
AHAHHA
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
lol so true
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
SO GAYYY XD
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i'll never intend to date the thou
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
cuz i don't think they reached maturity level
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
XD
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
ya..they are stupid..
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
just don't do it with young ones...they will really be doing it 24/7 lol
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
and they will died pretty soon
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
so don't be too deep on them
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
AHAHHA LOL AHAHHAHAHHA
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
OMGGGG
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ur so considerate about this
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
no..i'm just telling u this...don't do it with them....
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
really..
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
otherwise u will end up like eve..
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
sooooo many kids
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
AHHAHAHAH LOL
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
o well..i don't have a bf all my life >.<
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
awwww
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
u will ahve one too
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahah
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ado u thihnk the girl on the right is hella of annoying?
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
nah...she is ok lol
y? u like her??
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
xD
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
noooo
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i don't like her
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
seh seems annoyn
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
and i'm no lesbo
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i'm straight like the lines on paper
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
ya so get a boy and get marry lol
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
then u will try the sex life as eve
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
hahahaha
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahahah
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
it's going to a hard one
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
hard for ur bf/husband
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
hahaha
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
omgg
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
he not gay
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
I PLAY HARD TO GET
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
XD
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
oh..i though u said ur bf/husband won't do it like ADAM
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
of course he is not gay lol
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
AHHAH LOL
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
yahhh so true
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
but wt if he said taht is his friend but is girl?
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
who killed ADAM!!
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
AHAHHAA
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
OMGGG LOL AHAHAHHAHAH

me and my friend rated xxx conversation :) so hilarious

moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
DON"T LAUGH!!!
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
OKAYAAY
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
lol but i can't help it
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
XDD that girl next to u knwo is like hella clueless
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
shit
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ah
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
YOU ARE CRAZY!!
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
WHATEER
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i was born to be crazy
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
cuz it's genetic
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
so i can't do anythign about it
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
YA RIGHT!!
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahaha
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
lol
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ADAM
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ADAM
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ADAM
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ADAM
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
HAHA HE DIED! ;D
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:

i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahah LOL
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahhaah
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
killed by EVE
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahaha
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
XD
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
cuz Eve don't want that much kids
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
they doing too much
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahahahahhah
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
lol
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ommgggg
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
XD
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i'm cryingggg
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
haha..go ahead, adam won
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
wont' come back alive anywayz
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahah LOL ahahah
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i'll choke if he says adam agian
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
ADAm!!
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
so prepare to dial 911
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
oh ya sure, i have my cell phone beside me
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahha lol
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
Adam have been doing too much with Eve and have too many kids so he's out of armor ! hahahahah
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
AHAHHA LOL
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
HE DOING TOO MUCHHHHH THAT HE IN PAINNNNNNNN BIG ITME
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ALL HE THINKS ABOUT
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
SEX IS WAHT BROUGHT ME AND EVE TOGETHER
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
SEXXXXYY TIMEE 24/7
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
that's all he thinks of?! sex, sex, and sex all day
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
taht's y he died now
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahaha yah for realz
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
maybe he cheats on eve
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
to have more kids ever
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
MAX THE PLEASURE
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
XD
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
do u know, havign sex is like a loud squeaking door
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
u know it sound like u are waiting to have "sex" with someone lol
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
hahahah
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
xD
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
OMGGG
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
I'M A VIRGIN
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
XD
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
U KNOW HWO DESPERTE I AM ahah
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
joke, i'm paitent
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i need a boyfriend
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
then get married
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
then IT
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
XD
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
ok...find one then..
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
and get marry
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
and do it everyday
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahahahahahahhaahhahaha
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
24/7
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
omgggggg
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ur overboard
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i want my soulmate to be liek my ex from 8th grade shit. ahah but then i thin khe going to be dumbshit omgg idk XD ahahhaha
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
from 8th grade?? o0
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
u like young ones?
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
OHHH
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
no i was in 8th grade
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
whe ni had a boyfriend
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
taht was an 8th grader too
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
we didn't go out that long cuz i was so stupid before and broke up with him
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i hsould of waited until HS
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
but fuck u knwo.
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahaha
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
XD
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
now is high school lol
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
But me and him don't talk anymore
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
so go find one!
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
liek hellaa years
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
I'M TRYING
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
SO HARD
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
NO MORE CUTE GUYS IN ARE GRADE
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i've been crushing on younger ones liek sohpomores XD
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
OMG!! u can't do taht!! they still young!!
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
AHAHHA
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
lol so true
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
SO GAYYY XD
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i'll never intend to date the thou
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
cuz i don't think they reached maturity level
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
XD
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
ya..they are stupid..
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
just don't do it with young ones...they will really be doing it 24/7 lol
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
and they will died pretty soon
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
so don't be too deep on them
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
AHAHHA LOL AHAHHAHAHHA
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
OMGGGG
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ur so considerate about this
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
no..i'm just telling u this...don't do it with them....
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
really..
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
otherwise u will end up like eve..
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
sooooo many kids
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
AHHAHAHAH LOL
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
o well..i don't have a bf all my life >.<
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
awwww
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
u will ahve one too
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahah
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ado u thihnk the girl on the right is hella of annoying?
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
nah...she is ok lol
y? u like her??
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
xD
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
noooo
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i don't like her
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
seh seems annoyn
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
and i'm no lesbo
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
i'm straight like the lines on paper
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
ya so get a boy and get marry lol
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
then u will try the sex life as eve
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
hahahaha
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
ahahah
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
it's going to a hard one
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
hard for ur bf/husband
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
hahaha
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
omgg
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
he not gay
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
I PLAY HARD TO GET
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
XD
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
oh..i though u said ur bf/husband won't do it like ADAM
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
of course he is not gay lol
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
AHHAH LOL
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
yahhh so true
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
but wt if he said taht is his friend but is girl?
moo-ny...[Fresh Bloods is always welcome.] says:
who killed ADAM!!
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
AHAHHAA
i think sexy shades look at me, i love his smile omgg! says:
OMGGG LOL AHAHAHHAHAH

in web design :) again :) ahaah

OKAY, when i woke up, um, i didthe usual thing but i took forever to find what to wear because I CARE.. Anyways. so much to talk about today so here we go:
Geometry- So, yeah we did the usual stuff, and i got homework from that class, so i have to bring the fatass book.
History- we color and stuff, FOR HW EVEN THOU TEST ON FRI, I NEED TO KNOW 50 STATES
brunch- i went to my locker as usual, when teh bell rang to go to 3rd per i drank juice
computer operations- well we had reading first THEN LIKE WE DO THE TYPING SHIT AS USUALLY I KNOW ALREAYD HOW TO FREAKIN TYPE A KEYBOARD FOR AGES
CHEMISTRY- woot, omgg i found out sexyshades name isn't JONATHAN, it's JOSHUA! HE SEEMS SHY BUT HELLA CUTE, BUT YAHHHAHAHAH and we had to do this workshit i didn't ifnish so gayy like another math class andi wonder if joshua is a sophomore too ...
LUNCH- me and alyssa went to key club meeting, omggg u know the guy jonathan i thought the guy in my chemistry name was, it's WAS HIM right next to me at the meeting XD and he talked to me like excuse me and stufff. .XD omggg he hell of cute tooo.
ENGLISH- i actually liked english class today, we did a lil freedom to do wahtever after reading this passge so it's all chill :)
web design- ahahh i love this class omggg me and wing having priceless moements omgg its so funny!
my teacher was callign out a guy name adam numerous of times me and and wing are like right next to his desk so we were hella laughing and shit ahahahha it's so funny, and he asked this guy if he's adam i'd cracked up till i cried omggg...
there so much stuff, next blog i'll post up me and wing's conversation :)
today is lovely.

SCHOOL :) AT WEB DESIGN

ahah today the first monday of this school year :) ahah.
ANYWAYS, let talk about my classes.
Geometry- Well, we learn our first lesson and i had the wrong geo book so yeah whatever um it was okay
History- Oh we have to write what the 50 states name are, cuz were going to have a test on it like friday. fun class still.
computer operations- the computer log in actually works now! ahahh i typed hella fast damn speedo!
brunch-i went to my locker as usually
Chemistry- I love chemistry, so funny and fun ahaha too bad taking notes is stressin but it's all good but guess waht i think i actually know the guy name now. JONATHAN AKA SEXY SHADES?!ahah. lol. i feel liek he looks at me at times ahaha. dude i liek his friggin smile and his height not that bad. aha and i hate the teacher talking about foood she makes me hungry
Lunch-i went to my locker to get the wrong geo book and went to the book room to get the right one and hangout wit alyssa at the table in front of eggers
English- Oh we had a vocab quiz shit XD ughhh so gay! but i think i did best at it. and the guys make me laugh like hell. ahahah and i have hw to do on about IDAHO XD
Web design- It's so fun, i'm in it doing this blog. aha, and chatting with wing even thou she right next to me. ahaha.

grr i have homework like in 4 classes XD THIS IS SO GOING TO SUCK. i guess it's a JUNIOR YEAR LIFE. ahaa

so yeah. i also like the weather today ahah. not too hot and not too cold. just the way i like it. roll it. do it. ahah

yesterday i was watching VMA and i can't believe brittney spears won 3 awards DAMMNIT i dono't even know her songs. and gawh at least chris brown got one. and dude phelps did so awesome omggg ahah. people says he werid but i can't help it XD

GOOD BYE :) AHAH.

School days poem :)

School Days
by carmina canilao

waking up each everyday
at 6 in the morning
spending time to find what to wear
because i care
listening to music with coffee
makes me go hyphy
basically it just relaxing
before i start stressing
fabulously waiting
till times fly by
walking to the gate at school
going to my locker fool
then it's geometry
where your brain goes at ease
jump to history
it's full of mysteries
oh it's brunch
lets give it a munch
i don't want to read
but it a rule thing
oh it's computer operations
oh boy with complications
oh yes it's chemistry
there is a good looking staring
oh it's lunch
lets go off campus for some yums
man it's english
it's such a friggin' b***h
oh yes saving the last to best
it's a blast being in that class
after the day
i walk out the doors to go home
being exhausted each and everyday
but you know what,
i learn something by the end of the day
so no matter what
going to school isn't such a bad thing at all
just don't let yourself fall

Thinking of SEXY SHADES :)

S
E
X
Y
S
H
A
D
E
S
<3
can't wait to see him in 4th ahaha
going to be fun.
ahah.

NOTICE; for some people understanding.

I just want to point​ out a few thing​s about​ me that some peopl​e don'​t reall​y know much about​ me:
- I'm NOT going​ back to Newar​k Memor​ial High schoo​l,​ My only optio​n is Visit​ing.​

I love newar​k very much.​ but i have no choic​e.​ it's a famil​y thing​.​

-I am not like befor​e,​ i don'​t like zilli​ons of boys at one time,​ i may talk about​ how a parti​cular​ somet​hing that is "​good looki​ng"​ but that doesn​'​t mean i like him.

I don'​t tend to like guys much guys these​ past few years​.​ I learn​ed somet​hing,​ and yet i don'​t like a "​someo​ne"​ at all.

- I'm livin​g in the SINGL​E life,​ not looki​ng.​

The reaso​n is that i can'​t stand​ how girls​ tryin​g to find the "​love of their​ life"​ in High Schoo​l when there​ are years​ a head of you, just wait becau​se it will event​ually​ come to you.

- Washi​ngton​ High Schoo​l isn'​t that "​BAD"​

I tend to think​ you guys hate that schoo​l.​ but to me it's not that bad, you just got to be open to yours​elf to get to know new peopl​e and to me, It's actua​lly prett​y cool.​

- Live,​Laugh​,​Love

i am livin​g becau​se there​ so much in this world​ to do, i want to accom​plish​ my goals​ in life.​ I laugh​ becau​se it's a good medic​ation​,​ it makes​ you feel good about​ yours​elf and other​s becau​se it's a way to take out your stres​s.​ I love becau​se i got peopl​e who are there​ to care for me. No matte​r what I'm still​ conti​nuing​ to live life to the fulle​st with laugh​ter and love.​

Thank​s for readi​ng,​
Carmi​na Canil​ao.​

at web design again XD

aha yeah at web design again. omgg. ahah. lol. there a problem on me loggin onto my acccount so i'm on someone elses. So, yeah.
first period i had to do a geometry diaginos test which i had to finish during brunch for a few problems left. but like yah, ahha.
second period my teacher went over the paper thingy we did yesterday, which i learn something new, the seven continents ahahah :) lol. he so fun ahahha. and the 4 oceans ahah.
reading period- i read ahah lol.
3rd period ummmmmmm i did nothing cuz my loginning in thingy didn't work for shit.
4th period i had chemistry and it was funny! ahahha lol that guy was distracting again. ahahahah
5tth period english is like we have to do an essay about gayy technology ahahah hahahahh hahahhah ommggg the guys areoudn em are still dirtracting cuz there loud talkign forever and liek even touch my baack ugggh
WEB DESGIN- typing this and all, omgggg my friend wing and all are havinga godo time ahahah it's so fun ahahhaha omggg like i can't stop laughing omggg ahahhaah.
ahahhaha
i laugh everyday ahhaha.
:) smile up yo. ahha

IN WEB DESIGN CLASS :)

AHAHAH I'M IN CLASS RIGHT NOW, MY GOSH THIS IS SOOOOOO COOOL.MY GOSH AHHAHA. LOL. I'M GOING TO LIKE THIS CLASS BIG TIME. WOOT. AHHA! ISN'T IT SO AWESOME. AHAH. OKAY SO YEAH MY DAY WAS ALRIGHT, ENGLISH CLASS WAS SO BORING OKAY, LIKE SERIOUSLY I HAD TO READ OUT LOUD A PARAGRAPH OKAY. AHAHA, I WAS SURROUNDED WITH GUYS AND THEY ALL CRACK ME UP LIKE HELL AHAHHA.SO FUNNY! SO THEN YEAH DURING LUNCH I HANGOUT WITH JESTINE AND VINCENT AHAH, KIMMY OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE IN GEOMETRY AHAHHA MAN, IF SHE IN CHEMISTRY OMG SHE'LL FAIL BIG TIME. ALSO LIKE THAT JUST REMINDED ME IN CHEMISTRY THE GUY WAS OMG A DISTRACTION TO ME AHAHA, DUDE WE HAD TO TAKE THIS PRE-TEST IS WAS PRETTY GAY I WAS THE LAST ONE TO TURN IT IN SO I WSL IKE OMMFFFFGGG SERIOUSLY I WAS JUST LIKE FULL OF CRAP. OMMGGG, I'M WEARING SOMETHIN NICE BUT LIKE WHO CARES? AHAHA.About english class again, we had to write soemthing and he wrote liek hella hard vocab words or just hard to understand... i didn't know what the hek i was writting so damn ya know. So anyways, ahaha, the people next to me was in my class last year like one in art and one in biology class. ahaha so funny! omgg, yeah today is so chill so yeah. gotta go for now :)ahha i felt like writtig more but oh wellz. ahah. i can't believe i wrote in caps in the beginning ahah. alritey then. bye.

EW; First Day Of School.

Schedule of my first day of school.
1st- Geometry, She's cool. Actually, i think i'll be able to learn a lot from her, so yeah. she very nice. We filled out personal information sheet and all so the teacher gets to know you. and one question said," who you tell everything to? i was like Tiffany Lee.
"FIRE DRILL"- ah, it was so funny because my teacher was standing in the wrong area so then we had to walk back to where it suppose to be at. I keep running into people so sad.
"ASSEMBLY"- Lame, we didn't win any of the games, but i hell of scream and stand up and put my hands up when tHIS PERSON said,"JUNIORS"! AH. They were throwing candies, damn i got hurt on my leg, but i got some :) ah! i couldn't find Jestine, or Jalisa.
Back to First- Just reviewing class rules and all that sorts from the paper.
2nd- History, He was cool and fun. Ah; i think he going to be an interesting teacher, not much to struggle with. I will probably like history all over again.
3rd- Computer Operations,the teacher is okay. I think this class is boring, basically i have to do it because it's for graduation requirement. Full of Freshmen.
4th- Chemistry, the teacher is "fun" but then i know it's going to be the hardest class ever. Well there was some guy that was so
_ _ _ _ :P ! like finally ah. I think I'm going to die.
5th- English, Omg EW this is like one the classes i would like to die too. I already got homework, defining words and you know studying, and having a quiz on monday. SUCKS!
6th- Web Design; Basically the the teacher maybe gay but who knows okay. But, he seems cool i guess. filling out that bubble and all was kind of hard LOL. ah. joke.

overall; some teachers i think most of them got my name pretty well but some had to struggle with it so yeah.
I was already tired, since arriving at the school, didn't even eat or drink at home before that.
:) so this was my day. ah
I wore my junior shirt, jeans, vans, heart earrings, 2 braids each side of hair.

Last Day Of Summer :(

On on the last day of summer, i woke up in a good mood, So then i ate before i showered then got ready to go to the mall. So when we arrive at the mall we went to macys, i decided to change my bag into a smaller and more of my own age looking too. So, then afterwards, we went to the clothing area and i got some clothes. Then went off to nordstrom, but ended up going to cheesecake factory. good stuff, then went back to nordstrom but we saw gap cuz we were cold i got myself a scarf, so then we went back to nordstrom i couldn't find any flats that looks good on me, so whatever. ahahah then we went to head home, which was tiring yet it was worth it cuz it's the last summer or 2008 for me. Starting school tommrow, yet i'm a bit excited yet ughh i don't wanna go feeling but it's alrite. ahahha
-Mina

About Yesterday; Shopping :)

Yesterday was LABOR DAY :)
yet there was sale.
me and my mom went shopping.
So, we went to macys and look for my bag first, IT'S HARAJUKU LOVERS YES! woot ahahah
then we went to the clothing area and i got 2 harajuku shirts and a harajuku sweater.
then i went to the accessories store, i got a hat and 4 earrings :)
then like, tiffany and rebecca met up we said hi and all. it was nice to see them .
So then,
we said goodbye and me and my mommy were on the way to cinnamon rolls . ah, then they saw me go to zumiez and we chilled a bit then like we went to my mommy and like then we talked a bit with our final good bye.

:) so yes. that that was so fun. ah.

NOW: Tomorrow is school, newark starts today.

Ordinary sunday but full of surprises

On this day at the very moment Mischa gave birth to 3 puggles.
i've been watching them a whole lot toady.
i went to church with mom and auntie.
Hm, did most talking about it and everyone going aww about it.

so yeah :) aha; mischa so attach to my mom

i didn't eat rice today for dinner. so weird.
me mom and auntie watched a filipino

so yeah. my tummy feels strange but oh wells .

thats all i have to day

3 more days till school almost 2...

another school poem

school starting so soon,
no all nighters anymore,
no more stress free life,
no more starring at the tv,
a trip to new york city,
to the beach,
skinny dipping,
no more sight seeing,
oh where is the freedom,
it's all disappearing,
no more movie nights,
getting scared of frights,
oh alright,
we just need to learn something new,
then we can contribute,
to the world,
and we'll just realize
with our real eyes,
facing real lies,
oh yah,
passing by them beezy
we can get for sheezy
and you know we go
with teh flow
we can just smack down
like super crew in the town,
oh hell yea they can choke
like the joker,
we ain't jokin in poker
so we just gotta live the life
where reality begins here tonight


xd i got really bored ahaah
good nite :) i hope you like it

Living in my own Imagination

Just Imagine.

I seriously believe i live in my life as an imagination of the sweetest things that people will awe about.
For instance,
I imagine myself going to the back to school dance at Newark Memorial. The song bleeding love playing, and i was dancing and singing along with my friends. Then all of the sudden _____ took my hands and made me slow dance with him. and i was still like lip syncing the song. and then we went to the back door (usually, it's for fresh air) we were holding hands. So then, like we leaned on the wall and i put my head onto his shoulder. We had a conversation:
Her: i wonder if we can ever be like this again
Him: same here
Her: IF we could be together again, i'll make it right this time.
Him: i know you will, can we start today?
Her: *Blushes* of course, i've been waiting my whole life to be fulfilled again
Him: Ya, I realized that without you I'm missing something in my life
Her: Oh really? I felt the same way too, now that I'm with you, we're complete.
Him: No matter where you are, your forever in my heart. I love you.
Her: I love you too boo. *kiss on his cheeks*
Him & Her: *Making out*
FRIENDS: OMG! THERE TOGETHER AGAIN.
Tiffany: AH! Carmina actually got him back, yeah she will never find another. I bet they will last longer :)
Shanette: OH YES! woot! i'm so happy for her.
Her: Oh you guys were looking! yah, we were about to annouance about us. But since you guys know already here is an advice, " don't give up on love, because it's destiny."
Him: Oh yah, i'm going to do whatever it takes to make our relationship last forever, because when we get married ....
Her: that when forever starts
FRIENDS: omg that hell of cute! THERES A SLOW SONG PLAYING, DANCE :)
Her & Him: *Dances*

I am TOTALLY going out of my mind :) & man, i think i'll be writing more cute stuff like this :)

School Poem Eh!

School is starting again,
as a beginning of an upperclassman,
wondering if i will ever go pass it,
making sacrifices,
going to be one of the hardest year damn,
all i ever going to do is dance,
to take away the pain,
so i won't go insane.

XD i can't write a school poem that long ahah. my brain hurts to even think about it.
5 days to go.
yet, i'm so not ready

Being "FULL" day

OMG, today i woke up with sweat XD shower. So, like then i saw sister cleaning and i'd ask if someone coming over. and then my mom said ria and jesse. so yeah ahah. lol. it took a while till i realize what to wear all. jesse hella cool yo ahaha. DUDE, i was like watching a nadal vs. deheart ahaha. then i almost fell asleep and all that. ahahah hella hot yah know. i firstly ate like chicken with rice. i think before that i had like salmon. and then later on like i ate crab,fish, cantaloupe, mango. i ate hella and i got so full. dang, and i drank like an energy drink and then a coconut drink. MY GOSH XD ahaha. so yeah ahahahha :) thats all i wanna say ahah.

About orientation "MAZE DAY"

Yah i had orientation on the 25th of Aug. i got there way early then i should of because the line to start off the maze was by time it goes backwards alphabetical order. being the last part is so lame. So when it was finally my turn, i tend to turn in the forms, got my id picture taken and i actually like my ID picture aha my hair came out nicely, bought the yearbook, asb, class shirt. and then i went to sign up for key club and the spirit skit :) 300 yo. then i went to get my schedule and man i had to change it so bad so i went to the office afterwards. So, because i already had spanish 1 before, and yet i'm not taking a language at all. and that elective got change too because i'm not that interested in it. so heres my schedule:
My first semester
1- Geometry/RAMESHAN Man i heard that she cool :) so i think i will have a better relationship with this math teacher then
last year

2-Us History/NICHOLS I don't know about this teacher as much so yeah i hope he goes easy on it because i don't wanna pass out

3-Computer Operation/GARBARINI i needed to take that class because it's a graduation requirement so i'll totally pass it.

4-Chemistry/Raymod i heard i have to really study hard in that class, because like my sister had her before.

5-English 11/AWWAD i don't know about this teacher but i hope she goes easy on it. like my previous english teacher

6-Web Design/BRIANO this seems like an easy and fun class :) saving the best for the last i bet ahah ^^:

My second Semester - the only difference is my 3rd period.
1- Geometry/RAMESHAN
2-Us History/NICHOLS

3-P.E. :) i 'm going to get Nunez again ^^: ahaha and yet i get to work out before i head off to summer vacation as an upcoming senior XD

4-Chemistry/Raymod
5-English 11/AWWAD
6-Web Design/BRIANO

i feel like it's going to be a good year but yet it's going to be the hardest year ever.

overall, i don't think any of these teacher will be stressing at all yet i'm still scared about chemistry XD and a bit of geometry because like how am i going to remember stuff? Also including english understanding novels and all. i don't really like to read that much.

So, i'll post a blog about my first day of school :) when it comes by.

after i was getting my schedule, i was lining up for the locker registration.
So, yeah i waited for a long time and yet all the good lockers i wanted were taken. I had to go back and forth to see if the locker are available or not so i was too tired to find a good one so i just put a lock on the bottom one cuz it looks good and went back to that guy to inform about the locker i chosen. IT'S SO TIRING!
Finally, i went to the book room but it was closed, but then there was this guy that opened it so i got my books :) i was so happy that i got my mission accomplished.

afterwards i called my mom to pick me up so she did. and it was exhausting too.

Especially for you.

AH, JEANRA IF YOUR READING THIS. LET ME WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT YOU! :)
jeanra is such a cool good from the ordinary world. yet, she makes m smile when she message me and i really don't see her face to face. She seems to be able to keep my heart flowing. she could be the greatest sister-in-law yes! ah i even tell her that too. too happy to have her in my life. i remember when i first talked to her, she pertend to be "HIM" aha, and then she reveal herself and i was pretty shocked and it grateful she became part in my life :)ahaha. yet now me and her have a easier way of talking! ahah.
hopefully me and her keep in touch forever :)

School Starting Soon XD

I can't believe school is starting so soon, it's like summer gone in a snap. Sometimes, i think the time was worth it. Spending most of my time, Chill at home. but I've got to do things that would do. Some shopping here and there, hanging out with friends,
spend family time, ordinary hangouts, spend time alone, Santa cruz, etc. so much to say but yeah.

Hm.
My Goals for the School year of 2008 - 2009 as a JUNIOR:
- Dress everyday for SPIRIT WEEK
- Join Spirit Skit
- Go to ALL of the School Dances
- Pass English CAHSEE
- Junior prom (FIND A DATE AHEAD OF TIME)
- Save Lunch Money
- Don't go on the computer unless for school hw/ or after hw is done
- Eat Less
- During Holiday breaks, spend time with family/friend as much as possible
- make new friends
- Study hard!
- Watch my school sports game especially, football and badminton maybe, water polo/basketball/wrestling
- Attend Club Meetings
- Smile a whole lot more
- Don't crush on guys so easily
- Text friends during lunch a lot
- Take a whole lots of pictures
- Don't be TARDY at all
- face those BEEZYS
- Dress up on Halloween day
- Dress nice on my birthday
- Go to newark football/badminton games
- Don't stress out
- Sleep at 10pm unless i'm doing homework
- get clothes ready for the next day so no complaints
- Eat breakfast
- At times, bring brunch snacks/ Lunch
- Visit Sophomore teachers
I'll add more later if i think of anything. This is enough for now.

My New Hair :)

Aha, Aug.23rd i Got a new haircut. it was so glad that i could change my hair from long that is hard to deal with to a stylish shortish style hair. i got my bangs back. i can't believe it. ah, it's good to have a haircut to feel more refreshed and also, school starting soon :) this was one of my checklist before going to school. Aha, people say it's cute. I love compliments.

life has it's own purpose

I believe in the future, my heart remains the same. So, then i won't run off liking someone i don't even know the whole book about. especially when the book is so pretty to be touched. Since, I am a girl that is different from most of the girls out there, i don't judge the book by it's cover. It's because i don't look at a guys appearance and see if he the one for me or not. I go inside out, i get deeper.  i don't think liking someone you went out for a few days isn't a small thing. It means a whole world to me. It's because you will only experience such a remarkable feeling that youngsters will ever feel. Everyone has there own purpose in life, like why do you see me like this now and you never saw it before? It's because that i learned so much to overcome obstacles. Learning from your mistakes like that rejection someone you had a chance with for your lifetime. Rejection; a feeling of loss of love that it will be hard to cure. like a medicine, you keep on taking it until you feel better and move on with life normally.   When obstacles occurs, you got to prepare  yourself for it. being envious about someone that you think they are better then you, they got what you ever wanted and that word that seems so harshly painful to deal with is Jealousy; a feeling of being envy of it's achievement or advantage. This one girl twisted my life so hard that i couldn't be myself when it's come to facing someone that punches my heart so hard that i felt like i couldn't live any longer. Yet she is with another guy now. I wonder how he feels about that. is he okay? i have no clue. and i feel like that girl is the one that chooses the prettiest book ever. 

Have i overcome the feeling of being rejected and jealousy? 

1/2 of me said yes and 1/2 me of me said no. 

Because yet, i never moved on, moving on; the place in your life where you leave behind the past and go forward to the future and live life with no regrets. Moving on is a hard process especially when you know so much about the person and yet you know how to make yourself happy when you think,sleep,cry,talk,dance,etc. about him. It's like he is part of your life because without him you wouldn't be where you are today. without him, is like there is no meaning in my life. yet, i let him be my life story. 

Ah, isn't it cute when the person that mend to put me and his hands together is like your best friend forever? so true! I believe so, that feeling holding someone hand is the warmest feeling in your heart, the one that keeps skipping a beat, butterflies in your tummy feeling. it's so brilliant yet i wished i held his hands forever more. like on friendship; you didn't need to worry about anything big, it's just having some fun and making memories. where me and him hangout a whole lot more during friendship because we were like the girls watching boys breakdancing. going to the park, people houses, and chill out like what real friends are for. Man, that reminds me of 7 o' clock phone calls. even thou i did most of the talking to him, but it's so sweet. I remember him playing the song, "Say Goodbye" by Chris Brown. like twice on the phone. and that one message, "i love you" like a whole lot of times. wait that relationship XD not friendship. Man, but me and his friendship were closer then it appear because we called each other math buddies because even thou we didn't have the same class together he needed my math notebook to copy off of. So, that was the best moments ever because i got to sit close to him. Mentioning when i did have class with him was in freshman year. Oh boy, PE. Man i felt so embarrassed having to be a model on what to wear for PE when i was sick and he was there looking at me. and i was looking down. when i told him that i couldn't do push ups that made it even worst then it sound. I almost forget to mention about softball games, ah he watched my softball games like twice i think, he was my lucky charm, when he lend me his wristband for the game was the best ever. Thats why my lucky number from 5 to 9 is all because of him, because my softball number is 9 and his birthday date is 9 also. how ironic is that? :) 

In fact, Appearance doesn't really matter, i got to mention his appearance. from head to toes he looks shorter now since then i haven't seen him like in forever i think he got shorter. when me and him were together, he was like an inch taller than me. (isn't that a perfect height for a couple?)  his eyes sparks me. lips are big like me. (is he a good kisser? i hope so, because if i get a chance to kiss him. i'll never stop) i've see it once and never again, his bod. he has a six pack. (SO SEXUAL) ah, i just drooled and couldn't see it after a glance. of course, a breaker needs muscles because they need balance. his voice is deep, but i like it. but you know what i like overall, his smile. it's mysterious to me because i don't really see him smile. what's behind it? is he really happy or is sad? there are unknown facts about him, because he doesn't show his emotions that much. he isn't that popular just because he breaks. what is up with him? is he going to be a shy guy forever? does he need love in his life? does he need a hug? i am worry about him to the max. i worry about this guy so much i get all panic about it and tell off my friends. 

WHAT IF? what if he dies? then, i'll be invited by his funeral by his sister and be a widow forever.  what if he with another girl? at first i'll be all WTF-ING and then maybe just maybe i'll calm myself down and support him all the way but that seems so impossible. what if i get to be with him again? the best ever, where my forever starts. what if i see him in the future alone? i will of course talk to him then because i would probably think he'll forget about me then or even now. what if i do a love confession to him like in those dramas? oh boy that a heck to the no that embarrassing what if he rejects me again, it's a scary feeling. enough with what if, because what if he changes into someone i don't even imagine? that a whole different story. 

Anyways, always thought of future plans with this guy because i always day dream of if me and him were together, i wonder what i'll be talking to him about. like what are kids name will be, how if they can be like breakers like there own dad. or a chef like there own mom. it's cute because your kids have the mixture of you and your loved one together it's so cute. like me and him will be famous together. i want him to be my first kiss. Anyways, Daydreaming; a distraction which you are thinking about the person instead of focusing on something important. When i daydream, i make it big, because it's my own excuse because like him is like studying too. 

Thats  all i have said about him, it could be too much or too little. I could write more. But, like i said, he is like my life story. So basically i'll be writing about him again in my life. Probably about the same stuff, but who knows. I'll probably say this is a surprise. So, thanks for taking your time reading this.