Seriously, i hate where your at right now.

Man, i've always thought, "you and her could be together" ever since freshman year.
but when i found out she had a boyfriend. it's twisted things up.
But seriously, i think, you liked her somehow.
i could sense it.
but, whenever i look through pics of u guys,
i just wanted to kill her.
kill her to death.
She ruined my future, i guess, she just a fear to me, she just an obstacle i can't get through somehow.
even thou i think she makes you happy somehow.
you guys are hell of close as i notice already.
She probably hell of prettier then me,
But to me, is he hell of innocent thou,
i bet you love the word
"respect" so much.
but seriously,
when i go to your myspace
"having a rough week"
something going on huh?
never knew you say anything "bad" going on your life in the public.
seriously, are you going to go something about your rough week.
gosh you make me mad
and your birthday coming soon
i never gave you anything because someone lost it!
:( seriously.
i'd give you my whole life.
but right now
i don't yknow who you really are now
i don't know waht defines you anymore.
maybe later on.
goodbye for now.

5 bad things about me, and 5 good things about me

17:35] minaluvyou: i wanna know what the 5 things that ppl like about me
and 5 things they don't
[17:35] minaluvyou: so then, i can improve on it, and get better at what i'm good at
[17:38] Tiffy: lol you wanna know ?
[17:38] minaluvyou: yeah
[17:38] minaluvyou: be honest
[17:38] minaluvyou: with me
[17:38] minaluvyou: i feel like i need to know recently
[17:39] minaluvyou: throught out my years
[17:39] Tiffy: okay let's go with 5 things don't
[17:39] minaluvyou: okay
[17:39] Tiffy: you need to stop like..laughing or yelling so loud
[17:39] Tiffy: cause it scares people
[17:39] Tiffy: and they look at you
[17:40] minaluvyou: okay
[17:40] Tiffy: like.. don't scare the new friends you make. like remember how you wrote poems about alex and stuff
[17:40] Tiffy: and told me to show him
[17:41] Tiffy: it was better that i didn't
[17:41] Tiffy: cause he's scared
[17:41] minaluvyou: yeahh
[17:41] minaluvyou: i understand..
[17:41] Tiffy: it's just like a relationship you can't rush
[17:41] minaluvyou: true
[17:41] minaluvyou: wahts next
[17:42] Tiffy: let's see..
[17:42] Tiffy: let me ask fiona
[17:42] Tiffy: lmao
[17:43] Tiffy: Oh fiona said when you hit someone
[17:43] Tiffy: it actually does hurt
[17:43] minaluvyou: oh okay
[17:43] minaluvyou: tell her thanks
[17:43] minaluvyou: for letting me know
[17:43] Tiffy: yeah she said your biggest problem is that you're loud
[17:44] minaluvyou: okay
[17:44] minaluvyou: so
[17:44] minaluvyou: basically mainly
[17:44] minaluvyou: is my loudness
[17:44] Tiffy: yeah it kinda scares the guys
[17:44] Tiffy: lol
[17:44] minaluvyou: lol
[17:44] minaluvyou: hmm
[17:44] minaluvyou: yeah
[17:44] minaluvyou: but i'm quite when i'm alone
[17:44] minaluvyou:
[17:44] minaluvyou: so
[17:44] minaluvyou: give me 5 good things
[17:44] minaluvyou: like the main ones
[17:44] minaluvyou:
[17:45] Tiffy: loll you're good to talk to about problems
[17:45] Tiffy: like you actually listen
[17:45] minaluvyou: okay
[17:46] Tiffy: and you're funny too like stuff you do sometimes
[17:46] minaluvyou: lol
[17:46] minaluvyou: like waht
[17:46] minaluvyou: i never thought i was afunny person
[17:46] minaluvyou: i think it just happens, natually
[17:47] Tiffy: oh sometimes the way you act ish funny to the girls
[17:47] Tiffy: but the guys get uncomfortable
[17:48] minaluvyou: ohh
[17:48] minaluvyou: like how do i act
[17:48] Tiffy: HAHA you're dramatic
[17:48] Tiffy: that's what fiona said
[17:49] Tiffy: kevin said you're good to talk too
[17:49] Tiffy: eStOyaDORKabLe (5:46:09 PM): well, nice, always happy, generous, giving
[17:50] minaluvyou: wow okay
[17:51] minaluvyou: lol
[17:51] minaluvyou: ask kevin how am i good to talk to
[17:51] minaluvyou: dramatic? ahahah >_< lol7:51] Tiffy: when like we're bored? i guess
[17:51] Tiffy: wait he's typing
[17:51] Tiffy: sup3r k3vin (5:48:51 PM): she's a good listener

5 bad things about me, and 5 good things about me

YOOOO :)

Thank god it's
FRIDAY :)
woot, i wanna relax.
ah.
i want to go
YOOOOO! :) CLASS ENDING SO SOON.
aha.
hm; today is WING'S BDAY :) ah.
i gave her this sour candy and a letter. hella cool
hm.
Oh this guy name chris, um he was hanging out with me alyssa and kathleen.
so. yeah.
me and chris talk alot actually, cuz were juniors the girls were sophomores.
so anyways me and him talk about majelete and kimmy and he think the same as me :) woot! i'm so happy that i have someone to talk to about them ah.
yah, chris was majalete's EX. so yeah.
hm. but you know, he thinks she hella changed, like she conceded andmaking plans for herself and "Popularity" and alll wahtever shit. ahahaha.
:) that made me happy for some reasons.
:) i'm so happy
:) and kimmy has taht bitch face, it's like her normal face bitch since birth. ahahhaha
:) gotta go.
<3 ya

I don't like reading period :(

So, YEAH we been having a subsitute and like my teacher is sick. So basically it's pretty chlll.
HMM.
now that dance practice for skit if building up my days, i feel like i have something to do, something to think about, memorize, and have so much fun with. like last year. and i got to meet new ppl. maybe all over again :) i'm so happy that i'm able to do this agian, i wanna have all my 4 years to be in it. no matter where i go, i'll still attend. I want to not be envious watching it, i wanna be a part of something, something that you perform once a year. a diffrent concept by like, facing your fears all over again, but it's okay.

In the beginning my life was stressing when school started, i had A LOT OF HOMEWORK. now i have a few, i get the concept on doing this and that on the right timing. i feel good. i feel like an okay person

the only fear i have right now,
failing. failing badly!
:(

i seriously believe that i can't take notice on what to expect from the unexpected.

i miss seeing people i knew since 8th grade, i'm used to them, i'm used to talking and having fun with them. basically, lately it been a while since had normal conversations with them because i'm so busy with school life, and got addicted to dramas and all that.

I cry a lot.
i mean, everyday.
because i'm
e m o t i o n a l.

in comp operations.

i'm in so in PAIN omgggg i'm going to die.
>_< my face is hella messed up and the mosquito bites damnn....
it's hell!
gawhh

just because.. your there only one nemo in the ocean

you know what i hate the most, like I REALLY HATE THE MOST... that we can't change time, we can't sneak into the future, we can't get what we always wanted, because just maybe the person that you put your whole life and soul can't grant ur bday wishes for a couple years, 15, 16... nothing has changed in me, but in him, he has changed... he much happier with his friends then his family, he much into bboying then searching for girls, he more of a happy person that made a BREAK THROUGH his own weakness, his "friends* put a band-aid in his heart. it's always the right for him to have his decisions in life, his own what called, "freedom" but somehow, we just need to face each other someday, somewhere, just to clear things out, but that seems impossible... the ocean is so big that it hard to find it, the right time, the right place, the moment to cherish this lifetime, cause it's only one time. Like, there are other fishes in the sea but, there only one Nemo you are looking for.
CAN I GET THROUGH YOU SOMEHOW?
how come i can see your smiles through other people faces, instead of mine. or maybe you did, but, i can't catch you. i just dream that you did. how come that i can't deny that you totally let me go, and never come back to me? how come i feel so scared and nervous when you pass by me? how come i feel like a s t r a n g e r to you? are you out of your mind? do you realize, HOW GIRLS GET SO HURT THEY CAN EVEN DIE? they want to die because, they though there whole life, was to be with you, to be a reason for living. So, what if i can't go to another, i can't accept them, i can't say yes? because it was hard for me to accept you before, it was so hard, because i didn't know myself back then, now i do, because you broke me apart, and find the right pieces, but there only one piece that is missing, and that goes directly from your heart, that what i need. I need you to tell me, EVERYTHING of what you though of me, what you thought i was i believe, who you think i am now, what good changes i am, what bad changes i am, what you wanted to talk to me about, how do you feel when we broke up, how did you feel when we held hands, how did you feel when i moved, how do you feel when i pass by you somehow, how do wish i was. but i really want to ask you, "How can you fix me? what can you do? what is your most professional way of saving someone from dying? how can you make me live longer? how can you make me a happier person then i am now?" because each day, i'll be thinking of what you said to me, think about it so deeply, and meaningfully, and you'll see, how thankful to have you answer those questions for me, because you could be my l i f e s a v e r.

My dream last night, i wished i could sleep forever more.

My dream last night, felt so real, felt so much love through the scene. i can't believe it, it was something i was looking forward to have in so long. Finally, it happened.

So, my dream start out as me taking a train to the mall, with friend (idk who the friend is)
So, then like, i was roaming around the mall with the friend, and JERVIE appeared. he was in the bathroom with friends, but like, there this part when they were talking about, it dosen't matter about me talking to carmina right, they make a big deal out of her, i'm not afraid of talking to her, something like that. so then, when me and him met up it was like, wow. crazy. we were hanging, talking... then the scene JUMP INTO, a park. we were like, couple-like it was cute, first of all , i was like looking at him, pinching his cheeks, then like, we started to like hold each other hands, and sorts, and then were like walking around with our hands holding on, then we did this thing jumping over a stand to the slide, he brought happiness to me, it was the best feeling ever. So then yeah... then the scene jump again, to this house... it was scary >_< like, some bad guy was coming, and there was a lot of ppl in the house i think we were partying, and like we were like locking doors and blinds. and like we all hid in the living room (what a strange/ non-safe place to hide) me and jervie actually kissed >_< because i think we were so scared we might die, he took away my virgin lips, >_this dream makes me feel alive, make me want to function throughout the day, just dreaming...
but, sometimes i want it to be..
REAL >_<
i want it to happen somehow.
maybe, it telling me to
just wait a bit more,
not get hopes high,
just wait,
wait a bit more.

just thinking..

faggot, i miss you terribly.
why can't you see through me,
living my life in misery,
i feel like i have nothing to live for,
nothing to reach up in the sky,
because you know that i can only be the one,
to be able to trust you all night long,
forever you are gone,
you don't want me to think of you,
like i always been doing too,
for many years,
i've wasted it all,
because of you,
i was saving it for the best,
i wanted you get the best of me,
the one that can prove that love is no other girl,
only me just me,
being by my side,
holding my hand
taking us through memory lane,
with no complaints,
or turning back,
i'll still be,
w a i t i n g.